After a week of searing headaches, I finally saw the eye doctor today, and it turns out I have reached that golden age when a girl needs bifocals.
Ouch! *lol*
Thankfully, there are progressive lenses that do not require me to walk around the world looking like a gramma. I'm *not* a gramma yet, and I would rather not be mistaken for one until I *am* one.
The nice young optometrist joked with me about it, which helped me feel better, and reminded me that the fact that my right eye does all the work when I'm wearing glasses (my left eye is useless unless I'm wearing my very uncomfortable contact lenses) has prematurely aged my eyes, and that most people can wait until mid-forties and beyond for bifocals. So, it's not that I'm old. It's that my right eye is exhausted!
And $589.00 later, I will have no more headaches once the new glasses (frames were only $89.00. The rest? The lenses. The incredibly expensive lenses!) arrive.
*Shew* What a relief.
He also told me something else: there may be a 'cure' for my horrible vision and though it comes with a $7000 price tag, it is something I might consider when I win the lottery. Apparently, you can have your own biological lenses replaced with intraocular lenses. It's called 'lens implant surgery', and it is a viable option for people with vision as horrible as mine.
I gawped at the price tag, but I admit I am wondering how long it would take me to save that much money. I've worn corrective lenses since I was 9, and my vision has continued deteriorating. I'm especially attached to my vision now that I work with visual things, and I would love to be free of the constant need for glasses.
He warned me, though, that even with the surgery I would probably need reading glasses for 'up close' stuff.
ANYway...
I'm sure I'm boring you to death, so I'll stop talking about my eyes now. (With especial apologies to the Sisterhood, who have no doubt heard all this already. :D)
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I streamed this past Sunday, and finished the cover for my volume II Book Of Days. I am *so excited* to be moving into a bigger book that will look and feel exactly as I envisioned it when I started the project. The smaller book was a great idea in theory because it wasn't in the least bit intimidating, but I want to paint *bigger*. I want super complex multi-day spreads. And I shall have it!
Anyway, in case you missed the stream and you'd like to watch, here's the video! It's pixelated (I'm working on that ~ I think it's a setting I've put too low), but you get the general idea. Alas, the boy child was not here to sing us in this week, but we had fun all the same.
Broadcasting live with Ustream
I am totally loving my cover even though it feels a bit unfinished to me right now. I'll probably do somemore to it as I work in it in the weeks to come.
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I got a box today from the delightful Linda Robison, and dudes! It was a work of art in itself! I really didn't want to open it, but my curiosity about what was inside overcame my reluctance. Check this out:

This picture doesn't even begin to do this gorgeeeeosity justice.
The box itself was crammed full of lovely stuff. Imagine decluttering your craft space. Now imagine tossing everything into a box and sending it to me. That's what this box felt like. A juicy, delicious, totally unexpected 'care package', as Linda called it.
*Swooning*
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My quietness here has come to an end. It has been difficult to blog without fearing that I'll turn people off with my 'stuff'. But my stuff is part of who I am, so if my stuff or reading about my stuff turns someone off, well...
...that's liberating, actually. Because I only want eyes on my life that *want to be on my life*.
Simple, right?
I had a series of epiphanies over the last couple of weeks while I was relatively quiet here:
Epiphany #1 (Brought on by watching Shiloh McCloud paint in The Red Madonna)
The divine dwells in the gap between who we wish we were and who we are in the present moment. I can be tempted to believe that if I just strive for that 'self in the distance', I will get there. But I'm learning this: The distance between the two, the depth of the chasm, the span of bridge we must build, shrinks as I reach, not for some future self, but for the divine within me. It isn't about *me* becoming anything. It is about recognizing what is already within me, and giving that divine self within me more and more space to dwell within and through me.
Epiphany #2 (Brought on by watching services at http://agapelive.com)
There is only one life. We're all living it.
I keep hearing this and it is resonating so strongly within me. Compassion increasing. Empathy overflowing. My life no longer about what *happens to me* but how I participate in the life we all share.
Epiphany #3 (Brought on by the realization that my life has become completely drama free)
Drama is a choice we make. We can enter into it or we can flee like our lives depend on it. I have been successfully (perhaps for the first time in my life) turning my face away from that which doesn't serve my best self and turning joyfully toward that which does. I had no idea it was that simple, but it turns out it is.
I could probably have blogged all that as it occured but fear stopped me. I'm ready to let love reign.
Clarity of vision. I has it. (Even if only figuratively speaking!)